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Home » Jokes » Animal Jokes
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Most Popular Animal Jokes


Animal Jokes

Animals
Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best: The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and ...
Views: 559 Rating: 3.3 More »
Gorilla removers
Man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there"s an ad for "Gorilla Removers."
He calls the num...
Views: 572 Rating: 2.4 More »
Sheep woe
An animal orthodontist who practiced in Chumley Martin was called one day by a frantic farmer in Australia. "Help sir!" he cried, "I just got braces and orthodontic ...
Views: 518 Rating: 2.1 More »
Sheep dog
"How many sheep do you think we have?" Farmer Giles asked his dog.
"Three Hundred and Ninety," replied the dog.
"No, I counted them today, and there ...
Views: 516 Rating: 2.9 More »
Two dogs
Two dogs were walking down the street.
Dog 1 : "Do you use any protection when you"re having sex?"
Dog 2 : "Durex."
Dog 1 : "Come on, I asked...
Views: 573 Rating: 3 More »
Zoo
Bloke starts new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First he is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is bo...
Views: 526 Rating: 2.2 More »
In the jungle
So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.
I said, "You don"t need a tin opener to peel a banana."
He said, "No, this is for the ...
Views: 523 Rating: 2.8 More »
Lions
Two lions walking along Sauchiehall Street,
one turns to the other and says,
"Not many people about for a Saturday, are there?"
Views: 528 Rating: 2.8 More »
Salmon
Two Atlantic salmon are having lunch at a nice seashore restaurant.One of them lifts a waterglass and starts waving it in the air. A waiter sees this and says to a bus boy,
&quo...
Views: 509 Rating: 2.9 More »
I cannot forget you
As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can"t forget last night.You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and...
Views: 530 Rating: 2.5 More »

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